The reflections that Dr. Aimee Knauff ’02 wrote for her children when she was diagnosed with brain cancer have become chapters in her book, " Beloved and Brain Cancer: Living Each Moment As If It Were Your Last."
"After my fifth tumor diagnosis, I realized that I probably wouldn’t live long enough to experience my children's major life events with them. That got me writing to share my reflections with them and it was all the more reason to be present in the current moment rather than be upset about the past or nervous about what’s to come. My name Aimee means beloved, and in my suffering, I know everyone is beloved and has their own suffering," Knauff said.
"The book is about my life and the lessons I learned are valuable. The biggest message is that we are all struggling, everyone is hurting and needs hope. I want it to be a source of love and healing for others."
In Knauff's book, she shares her spiritual journey and the lessons she learned over her lifetime. About a year ago, Knauff began to add to the reflections she was writing for her children by exploring her life and reflecting on the ups and downs life brings. One of her traumatic experiences was when she was 14 years old and her sister, Candace, died of pneumococcal meningitis four days before her 13th birthday.
"Her death made me question my life, what it was all about and the regrets I had that I should have been a better big sister. I should have been more present," Knauff said.
Her reflections include going to Haiti and being impressed by the people who had so little and yet were happy and trusting in God to take care of them.
In her book, Knauff writes, “Looking inward to my beloved-self and living out of that love has been the calling of my life. Knowing that I am beloved is the source of my joy, acceptance, and peace that radiates out to others. I hope that you will also find peace in your suffering as you too learn to live as His beloved.”
"Currently, I struggle with increasing short-term memory loss and right-sided weakness from a stroke during my third surgery," Knauff said.
Knauff’s journey with cancer began in 2004, a month before her wedding to husband Adam, when she received her diagnosis, and a month after the wedding she had the first of four surgeries.
When she was diagnosed with brain cancer Knauff was very disappointed that she could not pursue the career she loved so much, a solo medical career in Vermont, but she knew it was the right thing to do.
The Knauffs moved to the Ellwood City area to be near Adam's family and her mother who lives in Cranberry Township.
"My book is who I am. It is my journey to be humble and vulnerable," Knauff said. "I practice mindfulness each day and I am thankful to God for the miracle of breath, the miracle of life, and the miracle of death."
After receiving a bachelor's degree from Gannon in Erie, Knauff got a Naturopathic Doctorate from Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine in Tempe, Ariz.
The Knauffs live in Franklin Township with their children, Sofia,13, in the eighth grade, Everest 12, in the sixth grade, and Carter, 8, who is in the third grade in the Riverside School District.
For more information or to purchase the book go to Knauff's website belovedandbraincancer.godaddysites.com Hardcover is $24.99 plus tax and shipping, paperback is $14.99 plus tax and shipping and the ebook is $9.99.
A portion of the proceeds is going to support Catholic Relief Services, and Knauff said she hopes one day to give them a big check.
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